Mindfulness for Kids

OK so this isn't a parenting blog (or that wasn't the purpose for sure) and I claim no expertise in the area other than 3 kiddos (12, 10, 7.5) that are well-balanced and loved by their peers and teachers. But here goes a post about a conversation that I had with my 12 and 10 year old earlier today...

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Today we had some struggles about having the right reaction to being corrected. It seems that often in our house, any time there is a correction, it results in an escalation with a response that is totally inappropriate and out of proportion to the situation.  I asked my two older kids tonight about whether they considered how their reaction would impact the situation.  It seemed to be an "a-ha" moment where they openly admitted that their first reaction was to blurt out whatever the first thought that came into their heads.  

I've challenged my kids to ask the following question:

"What is the best reaction that will most likely make this situation better?"

We went though not only their behavior earlier in the day (with this mindful question) along with other hypothetical situations.  As we talked about it, there seemed to be a 'click' in their minds about it.

In each of the examples, we talked about how there can be a good and a bad outcome and how their reaction will drive that outcome. 

Some of the revelation seemed to center around the idea that it is not always the first thought that should be shared with your parents.  They seemed to think that it was worth asking the question before responding.

Trading off what they really deserve vs. something that they feel that they are somehow entitled to is a pretty big part of the discussion. Of course there is a significant element of this trade-off being weighing the right thing to say against the first thing out of their mind.  

I know I haven't solved all of our parenting woes, but I'm going to print up some posters with that question.  I'll put the posters on a few key locations around the house and we'll start to socialize the question with the kids so they they can be more mindful when they start down the tumultuous maelstrom of tantrum vs trade-off.

Wouldn't it be great if we could encourage the kids to think about what the *best* response would be rather than the *first* response???

Watch this space! :)

P.S. There are few things more scary than going into your kids' bathroom and seeing that there is no toilet paper in there...